I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
