dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
