y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
