is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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