Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm like, not good at living.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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