Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
