For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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