I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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