if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
