okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
