i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize