I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
