i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
