So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
