is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
