we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
