I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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