You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
