I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
