Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize