Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and she was petting her beer can
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
