dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
