An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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