spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
