I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment