your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?