Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
