R you on birth control?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
whose parrot is this?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.