Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

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(713): View more from Texas

then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

how was last night?

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.

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(516): View more from New York

Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment

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(207): View more from Maine

I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.

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(801): View more from Utah

I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...

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