Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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(520): View more from Arizona

There was a lot of him and a little penis

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

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(512): View more from Texas

If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.

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(716): View more from New York

Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....

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(818): View more from California

Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.

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