Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?

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(206): View more from Washington

She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

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(765): View more from Indiana

The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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(863): View more from Florida

In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

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(520): View more from Arizona

if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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(810): View more from Michigan

My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.

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(425): View more from Washington

I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.

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