Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.