yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
