dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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