why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
