If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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