Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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