I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
