How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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