No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
