lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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