so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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