Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
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