I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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