Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize