get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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