Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
