well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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