are you so shy because you have an std?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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