I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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