She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
