it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
