She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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