it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize