So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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