I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
