I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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