weddingsv make me drug and hornr
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
