I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize