ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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