when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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