You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
