i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
