Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
