i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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