im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
