I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
