That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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