So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
